


Gods at War

by PsychoticEvolution



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: But ignore the rest of voyager Q plot after that, Melony (Star Trek: IQ), Mention of Amanda and q junior, Mentions of Q Civil War, Mind your language Q, Minor Character Death, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Q Continuum, Slight OOC, Slow Burn, Some graphic content but not really, Violence, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 23:34:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15762015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoticEvolution/pseuds/PsychoticEvolution
Summary: After suffering greatly from the Q Civil War, the Q find themselves in another skirmish for survival. In the midst of this chaos, Q finds himself on board the Enterprise once again asking for help...Will the Q win the war? Or will the whole Continuum be destroyed?





	Gods at War

**Author's Note:**

> Based loosely on the Star Trek Novel: I,Q by John DeLancie and Peter David as well as the audiobook Spock vs Q, BUT you do not need to have read them to understand this story, at least in my opinion. Just in case: the M Continuum was created in the novel I,Q by introducing Melony, not much information was given about them except that the Q and the M despise each other. Petunia was briefly mentioned as being more powerful than the Q in Spock vs Q.
> 
> Also, everything after "The Q and the Grey" (the Q Civil War Episode) is ignored in this story.

_You're weak._

He gave a harsh grunt as he lost his footing. Faltering just slightly as his knee hit the ground.

_You all are._

A small hill of dirt and dried blood formed behind him as he was pushed back. He shielded himself as best he could.

_Can't even handle a simple argument without turning it into a full blown war._

A sharp pain in his side startled him. He desperately wanted to clutch at but couldn’t.

_Almost destroying the universe in the process._

He was surrounded now, the only thing left protecting him was a feeble wall, slowly but surely being torn apart.

_You don't deserve to be here anymore._

He gave a piercing shriek as blood spilled from the gash in his side.

_The Continuum will destroy you and take over as the watchers._

A colorful cloud emanated from his body as he became part of the universe.

_Are you listening?_

He closed his eyes and allowed the last of his being to wash over him, waiting as they prepared a final blow.

_Well are you listening, Q?!_

He released a guttural scream and, with it, all his power. The unified blow bounced off him with a bright flash, resulting in a swirling passageway. He felt himself being launched out of the Continuum. He quickly thought of a destination and everything went black.

 

* * *

 

Picard sat listlessly in his ready room, nothing exciting had happened in months. He was beginning to think that space had run out of anomalies and adventures. 

 _Something interesting is bound to happen,_ he thought wryly,  _just the calm before the storm._

 _“Crusher to Captain Picard,”_ came the doctor’s urgent voice through the comm system.

“Yes, doctor? Is something wrong?”

_“We have an unexpected guest, captain. I think you should come see for yourself.”_

“An unexpected guest? But Mr. Worf hasn’t-”

_“Jean-Luc, I really think you need to get down here before he wakes up.”_

“Of course, Beverly. Picard out.”

 _I think I see clouds_ , he thought wryly.

Picard rushed to the med bay. Dr. Crusher was waiting for him outside the doors, blocking the entrance. She was clearly anxious to see him.

 _Oh dear, it’s begun raining._  

“Before you go in,” she put her hands on his chest, leaning in close, “he is severely injured, maybe even dying, and I fully intend to do everything in my power to save his life. I may not like him but I took an oath and I have a duty to do everything in my power to save him.”

“What?” Picard questioned softly, his confusion evident.

“We tried surgery but, despite appearances, he is definitely not human. Closing the wound with a dermal re-generator didn’t work either so Nurse Ogawa gave him stitches. It’s still bleeding a bit but it seems we at least closed the wound. He’s been unconscious this whole time.” 

“Surgery? Stitches?” Picard could hear thunder roaring in his ears and saw lightning flash whenever he closed his eyes. _The storm,_ he thought, _this is the storm._

Crusher hesitated before pulling him inside the med bay. He froze when he got a good look at the body lying on the bed. He could hear his heavy breathing, his faint snoring, his soft grunts of pain. See the slow rise and fall of his chest, the twitch in his right hand, the discomfort in his expression.

“Forget the storm, this is a bloody hurricane,” he whispered out loud before he could stop himself.

“Captain?”

“Nothing, doctor. Is that…?”

“Q,” she finished, “Yes.”

“But you said...” Picard saw the blood stains on his white shirt, noticing he was wearing some type of uniform, “he’s dying.”

“Maybe. We can’t know for sure until he wakes up...or doesn't.”

Picard pulled the doctor into her office, “I don’t understand. How?”

“I don’t know anymore than you, captain. He just appeared, beaten and bloody and in need of medical attention.”

“But-”

“Doctor!”

“Yes...nurse…” Crusher trailed off, awed at the colorful cloud coming from Q’s almost lifeless body and filling the room.

“It appears to be a star cluster or nebula,” Picard observed. The swirls vaguely reminded him of the eye of a hurricane. He watched as the colors danced around each other, creating a twisted rainbow. The reds and blues and greens fought for dominance, each seemingly trying to outshine the other. A wicked waltz of hues and shades. It was the most beautiful thing Picard had ever seen.

Picard approached Q’s body slowly, hesitantly he reached out but stopped when he felt something press into the back of his head.

“Get away from him,” a voice growled behind him. Picard held his hands above his head and slowly turned around. Three young people, perhaps no older than twenty, stood with wooden caliber rifles ready to shoot. They wore double breasted tailcoats, their muddied pants tightly tucked into their boots. Their uniforms would have shined a vibrant white had they not been bloody and disheveled. It was similar to Q’s own uniform except for the patches on their shoulders, Q appeared to be of a higher ranking.

“I said get away from him.”

Picard eyed the young man, he tried to stay calm but he couldn’t hide his heavy breathing as he stared down the barrel of a rifle. He finally focused on the other man's green eyes, “I did not mean to harm him, I was only-”

“Shut up. Against the wall,” this voice was softer, more feminine, but not at all less intimidating. As Picard slid passed the green-eyed man, he caught a glimpse of a young female pushing Dr. Crusher and Nurse Ogawa towards the wall. And a smaller, brown-eyed man watching Q in his peripheral vision.

“What should we do? We can’t go back to the Continuum, nobody has a strong enough bond with any of us to pull us back in.”

Picard’s interest piqued, he may have been in a life threatening situation but he couldn’t help his curiosity. This could be the only opportunity to learn anything about the Q.

“We have to help Q first. That’s our main priority, he’ll probably know of a way to get us back.”

“Q, how’s he doing?”

“He’s not bleeding too much, these stitches are very well done but I can do them better. Just give me a few minutes and I think I can get him to...well, to stop dying.”

“He’s dying?” Picard blurted out.

“Shut up!” the three Q yelled in unison. Picard heard a giggle then a hard slap. He would have been amused if he wasn’t in a life threatening situation.

“Should we kill them?”

“Probably, remember what Q said.”

“No mercy to our enemies. A real Klingon kinda attitude, ain’t it?”

“Are you almost done, Q?”

“Just...about...done!”

“Is he gonna be okay?”

“He’ll be fine, just needs a bit to recover.”

“Okay, now let’s kill them.”

“Wait! We’re not your enemies!” Picard spun around to face the three young Q, “We tried to help. We’re the ones who gave him the original stitches. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

“We can’t risk it.”

“We’re only mortals, how could we possibly harm any of you? You’re basically gods compared to us,” Picard spat out the last phrase, thinking about the way Q had spoken to them at their first encounter. How long ago that was...

The female Q’s eyes narrowed, “How do you know about the powers of the Q?”

“The Federation has interacted with the Q before. This Q actually, he’s visited my ship multiple times. We’re…” he hesitated, “acquaintances.”

“He’s lying, just kill them. Let’s get it over with,” the female Q growled.

“But what if he’s-”

“Just pull the trigger and shoot! We don’t have time for all this petty bickering!” the green-eyed Q yelled.

The brown-eyed Q sighed and brought up his gun, aiming at Dr. Crusher. Picard looked away in horror, he heard Nurse Ogawa sob softly, her watery eyes likely begging for mercy.

“Stop,” came a hoarse voice from behind them. Picard had never been so relieved to hear Q’s voice, and Dr. Crusher was probably even more grateful. He winced slightly at the sight of Q’s appearance. He looked awfully pale and he clutched at his side, blood seeped out through his fingers, his expression was of pure agony but his eyes were stern.

“Put your guns down, you morons. You’re scaring the poor things.” The young Q obliged quickly, dropping their guns. They tried to fix their appearances as best they could, straightening their collars, brushing dried blood and dirt from their coats.

“You are not, under any circumstances, to harm these mortals. They are our...” Q eyed Picard, “friends. Understood?”

The three Q nodded, avoiding eye contact as they mumbled under their breaths.

“Understood?!”

“Yes, sir!” they cried.

“We’re sorry, we didn’t know.”

“He told you.”

“But-”

“The word of this captain is better than the word of your own brothers and sisters.”

“You speak highly of me, Q. That’s a first,” Picard added wryly. He walked over to Crusher and held her softly, comforting her as best he could.

Q eyed the pair. Picard gave him a stern glare and Q coughed awkwardly then quickly moved towards the three younger Q, “War puts a lot in perspective, Picard.”

“War?” Crusher asked, “In the Continuum?”

“Continu _ums_ ,” Q replied, adding emphasis on the plural. He sighed then winced, the small movement hurting his side, “There is a lot I need to explain. _Ow, fuck_. I need to sleep. The pain will subside after I rest for a bit.”

Picard was slightly taken aback by Q’s language, he had never suspected Q to be one to curse but he also didn’t know Q too well, “I’ll provide some quarters. Will you three need quarters as well?”

“We can share with Q, right Q?”

“Wait,” mumbled the brown-eyed Q, “I don’t want to share with Q.”

“Well I don’t want to share with you either, Q!”

“Q, Q, please. Q needs to rest.”

“Merde,” mumbled Picard.

Q laughed, it was strained and somewhat horse, “I see you’re having some trouble distinguishing these little rugrats over here. Green-eyes here is Bingo, best sniper in the Continuum. Shorty there is Bud, kindest heart you’ll ever meet. And that young lady is Gin, holds her liquor like no other...except me.”

“I’ll outdrink you eventually, Q. You’ll see.”

“The nicknames sorta come across even if we call each other Q,” the entity smiled proudly at the younger Q, almost paternally, “Mon petit escadron.”

“Shall I lead you to your quarters? I think we have some open on deck 9.”

“Thank you,” Q struggled to walk alone, “A little help, Jean-Luc, if you please.”

Picard rushed to Q’s side and put his arm around the taller man gently, not wanting to hurt his injury anymore than it did. The captain was still slightly shocked by how polite Q was being, he was still sarcastic and witty but he seemed more...mellow. As if this war had toned down him flamboyance. The captain didn’t mind of course but it was odd. _Perhaps he just needs to rest. He’ll be his old self again in the morning._

 

* * *

 

“How are you feeling, Q?” 

“Like shit-”

“Mind your language,” Picard scolded.

Q sighed but there was a trace of a smirk on his lips, “Sorry, it just slips out. The wound closed but I have a nasty scar and it stings when I stretch it.

“A scar?” Crusher questioned, intrigued. She pulled out a tricorder and immediately moved to examine Q, “Could you lift your shirt up, please.”

Q blushed slightly but obliged, untucking his shirt to show the pink, puckered scar to the doctor. She brushed her fingers along it softly causing Q to clear his throat awkwardly. The doctor seemed to be too entranced by her thoughts to notice all eyes on her.

“This is fascinating,” she said finally, “The stitches aren’t even there anymore.”

“Well, Q- I mean Bud, replaced them with...Q-like stitches...and that’s just what happens.”

“If you heal this quickly, then there must be few casualties in this war.”

“Not really, it’s not easy getting medical attention in the Continuum. Most die of blood loss, for lack of a better term, before getting the proper stitches.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s, uh, it’s fine. You’re not killing them, you have nothing to apologize for.”

Crusher finally took her seat again and Picard watched Q awkwardly tuck his shirt into his pants, a slight blush tinting the entity’s cheeks. Picard thought it was slightly endearing then quickly pushed that thought out of his mind.

“From what I’ve heard, Q, it seems you aren’t able to go back to the Continuum. Is it because it’s too turbulent?”

“Something like that. You see, the Continuums are melding together-”

“There’s more than one?”

“Uh, well, yes. The M Continuum, they’re the universal balance to the Q Continuum, they appeared after us during the creation of the multiverse.”

“You’re at war with them?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Uh, I don’t know.”

“You...you don’t know?”

“Well, we’ve always hated each other, no one is really sure why. We’ve been trying to find a justifiable reason to go to war for eons and the M decided that our civil war was justifiable enough. They don’t think the Q are fit to be their counterbalance anymore, they want us all dead.”

“Civil war?”

“Yes.”

“In the Q Continuum?”

“Yes.”

“ _Merde_.”

“That’s not important right now. As I was saying before, the Continuums are melding together because of the constant collision of our powers. This has created a sort of forcefield, protecting the universe from our war but also protecting our war from the universe. Nothing outside the Continuum can enter unless it has a strong enough bond with somebody inside.”

“And you don’t?”

“Q, but they’re indisposed.”

Picard gave an exasperated sigh, “Which Q?”

“The little Earth one, Amanda.”

“What’s happened to Amanda? Is she alright?” the doctor asked quickly, unable to hide her concern.

“She’s injured, and on top of that she was never a very strong Q to begin with. She’ll never be able to pull one of us let alone all four of us back into the Continuum.”

“How did you get here?”

“I accidentally created a portal.”

“A portal?”

“Yes, a portal.”

“Q, can you just explain the portal to me?” Picard was clearly getting exasperated by all this new information. It was fascinating but too much at once. He had too many questions.

“Well, I was in the middle of a standoff. And I released just enough power so that when the M attacked me, their power would bounce off me. But it seems some of the power fused and created a portal. The blow was too hard for me to stand my ground and I was launched out of the Continuum and into the portal.”

“This whole situation is a huge mess,” Riker mumbled.

“War is messy, Billy.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Then how are you going to get back into the Continuum?” Picard interjected.

“Uh...well...by asking nicely?”

“You want us to take you back? How?”

“Easy. You have to create a rift in the space-time barrier thus interrupting the multiverse and allowing passage into the Continuum.”

“Oh, that’s all, is it?” Riker snorted, “Captain, we don’t have the capability to do that.”

“Not necessarily, commander,” Data chirped, “Perhaps if we release ion emissions into a wormhole, it might create the needed effect to form the rift.”

“I’ve always liked Data,” Q smirked.

“I have always liked you too, Q.”

“I’d say you’re lying but that’s not possible so I’ll just say you’ve got a loose circuit somewhere in that magnificent brain of yours.”

Data seemed pleased with the back-handed compliment, Picard wondered if Data really did like Q or if he was just fascinated by him.

“We’ll try our best to get you home, Q, but we can’t make any promises.”

“I understand, it’s not easy reaching the Continuum. And I’m sorry if we’re being a burden, I know the Enterprise usually has plenty to do.”

The whole crew stared at Q. Not sure if what they had heard him correctly.

LaForge nudged Riker, whispering, “Did he just say sorry?”

“I...yeah...” was all Riker could manage.

Picard cleared his throat awkwardly, “It’s really no burden. We’re here to help.”

Q smiled softly, looking bashfully at his hands, “Thank you, Jean-Luc.”

LaForge and Riker quickly excused themselves and rushed out the conference room awkwardly, Worf following behind with a deep scowl. The counselor and doctor snickered slightly, trying to keep their composure. Data waited for his captain to move, a curious expression on his face as he switched his gaze from Picard to Q.

“I would like to speak to Q a moment, Mr. Data.”

“Of course, captain.” The android didn’t move.

“Alone, Data.”

“Ah! My apologies, captain.”

Picard waited until he heard the doors swish close, “Why here, Q? Why the Enterprise?”

“Why do you ask so many questions?”

“Why have you answered them all so far?”

“Touche, mon capitaine, touche,” Q sighed, “You know why. Same reason as last time.”

Picard huffed, “In all the universe, you are the closest thing I have to a friend.”

“You remembered? How thoughtful,” Q smiled brightly.

“Hardly, it's not everyday an omnipotent being calls you a friend, it was worth remembering.”

“I meant it. I consider you a friend.”

Picard eyed Q briefly then sighed, “What happened when you were dying? That...that cloud. What was that?”

“Oh, that? I was becoming part of the universe.”

“Becoming part of the...I don’t understand. How?”

“What did that cloud look like to you, Jean-Luc?”

“I believe I described it as a star cluster or nebula.”

“Exactly,” Q gave Picard one last smirk before giving a harsh grunt as he pushed himself up, “I really think I need more rest. The youngins might enjoy Ten-Forward, I’ll bring them there a little later. I’ll help you find the nearest wormhole tomorrow, if that’s all right?”

“Of course, Q. You’re help would be greatly appreciated.”

 

* * *

 

“Ten-Forward! Ten-Forward! Ten-Forw-” 

“Stop that! You’ve been chanting Ten-Forward for the past ten minutes, take a break!” Q snapped. “Or at least give my head a break,” he mumbled under his breath, massaging his temples slightly.

“Sorry. We’re just excited. This is our first time interacting with lesser beings in a social setting.”

“It’s not hard,” Q grumbled before realization hit him, “ _Shit._ ”

“What?” Gin questioned.

“ _Fuuuuck._..”

“What?!” the three Q cried.

“Everybody go back to their quarters. We’re not going. I’m not dealing with this.”

“Not dealing with what, Q?” came a sultry voice behind them.

“ _Guinan_ ,” Q almost growled.

“Heading to Ten-Forward? I’ll walk with you, I’m going there myself actually.”

The three little Q circled around Q, leaning in close.

“She is very powerful.”

“Yes, very powerful.”

“What should we do, sir?”

“Should we kill her?”

Guinan smirked, Q glared at her.

“We shouldn’t take the risk, sir.”

“I say we kill her, sir.”

“Yes, I agree.”

“We’re not going to kill her. She’s my fr- she’s an acquaintance.”

“But-”

“And stop calling me ‘sir’ every other sentence.”

“Sorry...sir.”

“It’s not very natural to not say it.”

“I think it adds a certain _je ne sais quoi_.”

“Yes, it’s very distinguished. Much like you, sir.”

“Oh dear god,” Q grumbled. He heard Guianan giggling and immediately gave her an icy glare. She simply smirked in response.

“We’re here,” she smiled as the doors parted for the posse of Q.

“Humans!” The three Q cried and ran about Ten-Forward introducing themselves to every person in the room, naming any other species and happily speaking to them in their native tongues. Q couldn’t help the paternal smile on his face as he watched the younger Q attempt to mimic the social nuances of the people around them. They reminded him slightly of Data.

“Speak of the devil,” Q smirked as the android approached him. 

“Speak of the devil?” Data asked curiously.

“It’s just a phrase, my lovely professor of the humanities. Just means I was thinking about you.”

“Ah! That is,” Data thought for a moment, “nice to hear.”

Q gave a hearty chuckle and wrapped a lazy arm around the android’s shoulders, “What brings you to Ten-Forward, Data?”

“I am here to observe the Q’s interactions with the other members aboard the Enterprise. You have never interacted with any of the lesser ranking officers, I believe this to be a good opportunity to see how you, as well as the other Q, interact in a social setting.”

“Ever the curious one, mon ami. Unfortunately, I don’t plan to interact very much. I’m just here to watch over my ducklings.”

“Your ducklings?” Data thought a moment, his head tilting to the side like a curious dog. Q smiled, it was an endearing characteristic. “Ah! The three Q. If I may ask, Q, what is their relation to you?”

“You mean are they my kids? No, they aren’t. I have a son but he choose not to follow me.”

“Follow you?”

Q sighed, “How do I explain this...After the civil war-”

“Within the Q Continuum, correct?”

“Yes, within the Continuum. There was sort of a...a baby boom, I guess. I was the first to have a child and others followed. I mean we lost a lot of Q but I think some of the Q just wanted to feel a little more grounded cause the war shook us up pretty bad. Anyways, it was decided that each of the children born were to follow an older Q in studies. These three choose me. My child did not.”

“Oh. I am sorry.”

Q gave a bitter snort, “We were never very close anyways. I don’t even know if he’s dead or alive.”

“Speak of the devil,” Data said.

“Data, that’s not how you use the phrase.”

“You said it is when one is thinking of a person. I was thinking of the captain and what his opinion of the war within the Continuum would be, I was thinking about Geordi and whether he was working on finding a way to generate ion emissions, I was thinking about-”

“You don’t need to go through the whole senior staff, Data.”

“My apologies.”

“Hello, Data. Hello, Q,” Deanna said in her usual cheery manner. The other senior staff members sat around a table nearby. Trying to appear casual as they anxiously eyed the interaction their peripheral visions.

“Hello, counselor.” 

“Hello, Troi.”

“Why don’t you call me Deanna, Q? We’ve never talked, have we?”

“Oh dear god,” Q rolled his eyes and sat on the stool. Deanna sat beside him, Data moved to the other seat beside Q. Guinan walked over and stood in front of him behind the bar, cleaning glasses and pouring him a drink. “I’m surrounded,” he mumbled, “What is this?”

“Black cherry soda.”

Q shrugged and took a sip. “It’s good,” he replied casually, continuing to sip the drink. Deanna smiled at him and ordered a drink for herself.

“What do you really want, Troi?”

“Deanna.”

“I’m not-”

“Then you’ll never know what I want to ask you.”

Q sighed, “Fine. What do you really want, _Deanna_?”

“I really just wanted to chat but I got you to say my name,” the counselor smiled up at Q as he attempted to appear annoyed, a slight hint of a smile showing in the curl of his lips.

“Aren’t you cute,” Q snorted.

The counselor gave a soft laugh, “How are the other Q getting along with us lesser species?”

Q turned around in his seat and observed the three younger Q, “Alright, I guess. Curious little things but they aren’t much of a bother.”

“They appear to be much more well-mannered than you have ever been aboard the Enterprise,” Data added. Q and Deanna looked at him for a brief moment before bursting into laughter.

“Yeah, I guess I was an ass all those years back.”

“You still are,” mumbled Picard bitterly, loud enough for Q to hear. Riker snorted but appeared to tense up. Q glared at Picard a moment before chuckling.

“It has only been 6 months and 7 days since your last visit.”

Q shrugged, “Feels like longer. Can’t keep track of time anymore.”

“Would you like another glass, Q?” Guinan asked, unnaturally polite.

“You’re being awfully nice, aren’t you? Happy about my impending death?”

“No, Q, no matter our history, I would never really want you to die.”

“Surprising, considering you’ve tried to kill me on multiple occasions.”

“Differences aside, the Q are an important part of the universe. And you are an important member of the Q.” Q watched her curiously, a calculating gleam in his eye. “If the Q are destroyed, so is the universe.”

“You don’t seem to be making any case for the M, aren’t they just as important.”

“I don’t know. Do you think they are?” Q stared at the dark, bubbling liquid in his glass. “Times are changing, Q. You are changing.”

“I tried to make a difference and it lead to two wars.”

Guinan gave a nonchalant shrug, “I trust you to do what’s right.”

Q’s head shot up in surprise, the whole senior staff along with him. They watched her for a moment but she simply gave another shrug and walked away. Their eyes moved to Q.

“Trust me to do what’s right?” Q scoffed, “I’m simply not that important.”

Picard stood up and moved to stand next to Q, their eyes met, “You have changed, Q. I may not know how much but I trust Guinan. And she trusts you.”

 

* * *

 

“First order of business,” Picard started as his senior staff sat around the conference table, “Q is going to help us locate the nearest wormhole-” 

“If only he would wake up,” growled Worf.

“Yes, well, give it another try, Mr. Worf. Try to be a bit kinder this time.”

“Captain,” came Deanna’s soft voice, “if I may suggest, why don’t you try to wake him up? He’s always more responsive when you try to talk to him. He does consider you a friend.”

Picard hid his blush by clearing his throat awkwardly, “Noted, counselor.”

“Captain, where are the three younger Q?” inquired Data.

“They’re with Guinan, I saw them in Ten Forward this morning,” Riker answered, “They seem to enjoy her company. Apparently Guinan can be much more friendly with the Q than we thought.”

“Maybe so, maybe it’s just due to these unusual circumstances,” Picard sighed, “Perhaps one day I’ll ask Guinan about her relationship with Q, or maybe I’ll ask Q about his relationship with Guinan since we are now apparently friends.”

“I, too, am curious as to what their past relationship was like,” Data chirped.

“Captain, I have to admit that I am very wary of helping Q. We don't know how dangerous this could become,” Riker said seriously.

“I've made a promise to Q,” Picard responded simply.

“I agree with the commander, captain. We should not help Q,” Worf added angrily.

Picard nodded, “Noted. We should discuss this more in depth later but I want to see how the day goes before making any decisions on the matter.”

“He’s not faking anything, captain,” the counselor interjected, “His guard is down and he is vulnerable, I can even sense his emotions.”

Picard nodded, “We shouldn't make any hasty decisions yet. Mr. Worf, would you like to try to wake up Q again?” Picard gave him a unapologetic smirk.

“Is that an order?” Worf growled, somewhat jokingly. Troi cleared her throat, her lips curled in an innocent smile. Picard’s smirk immediately fell.

“I’ll do it, Mr. Worf. Dismissed.”

 

* * *

 

“I don’t understand why we need to do this so early,” Q grumbled, burrowing into his pillow. 

“The sooner we get you off this ship, the better,” Picard said curtly.

“Rude.”

“Q-”

“Could this not wait another hour or two?”

“Why is it that you must always be so petulant?”

“I want to fucking sleep. Is that so wrong?”

“Mind your language, Q.”

“Pardon my French but _baise toi_.”

“Sors du lit!”

“Non!”

“Get out of bed, Q! Now!”

“Why?!”

“Don’t you want to get home?”

“No!” Q threw the blanket off himself and sat upright, “Why would I?! Half of them want to kill me and the other half hate me for starting the damned war in the first place!”

“Q-” Picard took a wary step back as the entity aggressively clutched at the sheets, anger bubbling furiously to the surface.

“I’m tired of it! I don’t want to go home! If I could even call it a home, they don’t want me to come back! There’s no point in getting out of bed! Hell, there’s no point in being alive-”

“Q! That's enough!” The entity immediately shut up at the sound of Picard’s stern voice. Picard eyed Q tensely, a hint of something Q was not familiar with in his eyes. He was breathing heavily, both of them were. Q softened as Picard’s empathetic gaze watched him intently. He sluggishly moved towards the edge of the bed. He sat there, staring at the discarded clothes on the floor, stained with blood and dirt. Picard hesitantly sat next to him, perhaps a little too close for his own comfort but Q needed someone to be near him. Their arms brushed against each other and Picard could feel his cheeks flush. Q didn’t seem to notice as he picked up his coat from the floor. He traced his fingers over the badges.

“What is your rank?” Picard asked, more to distract himself from their proximity than out of curiosity.

“It’s not real.”

“Still.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Q sighed, pushing himself off the bed, “The only people who actually listen to me are those three Q.”

“Perhaps this could be pushed another hour or two, Q. You should rest, I apologize for disturbing you,” Picard made to leave but Q’s soft chuckle stopped him.

He gave a wry smile, “Even when the fault is not yours, you still feel inclined to apologize. Always the diplomat, mon capitaine.” Q snapped his fingers and the uniform that lay filthy on the floor was now on his body, the dirt washed away but the blood stains remained. Picard wondered if Q did that on purpose, a reminder of his god-like image being stripped from him or perhaps of the death that surrounded him. Q nudged Picard as he headed towards the door and the captain followed him. They walked in silence except for Picard’s occasional sneeze at the dust coming off Q’s uniform and the entity’s ensuing chuckles (that Picard would not admit to absolutely anyone that he slightly enjoyed the sound of).

“Good morning, Data!” Q said cheerily as he entered engineering, Picard close behind.

“It is fifteen hundred hours, Q,” Data replied, not looking up from the panel he was working on.

“Just a joke. Still haven’t put that emotion chip to good use yet, I see?”

“No, not quite yet,” Data finally turned towards Q and the captain, “Geordi is running a quick diagnostic, he should be here momentarily.”

“I'll leave you three to it. I'll come by later to check on your progress, keep me informed of any major breakthroughs,” Picard tugged his shirt in his usual manner and gave a curt nod before leaving.

“Oh, you're awake,” Geordi exclaimed as he made his way into engineering, “Finally, we can get started now. I've been working on converting the phaser beams to fire ion emissions. Easy enough, we just need to find a way to generate enough ion emissions to create the rift. I'm assuming it takes a lot of it?”

“Quite a bit, yes,” Q answered, “If we're lucky we might be able to find a nebula near a wormhole but with a wormhole’s gravitation, it's unlikely to find one close enough to harness those ion emissions and send it straight to the wormhole.”

“The phaser beams won't be able to hold that much emission so we need to think of a way to store them until we find a wormhole.”

“Perhaps,” Data chirped, “we could create a personalized storage unit just for the ion emissions.”

The commander nodded, “Data and I will work on the design. Q, you should start looking for the nearest nebula. Hopefully, we could reach it in short time on warp drive. The astronomy tower is on the top deck. You can let the captain know if you find something and he can pass it on to us during our next meeting.”

“Am I not invited?” Q smirked.

Data and Geordi eyed each other briefly. “Well, uh,” Geordi began, “the doctor said you should get some rest.”

Q examined their tense faces but simply shrugged, “I'll let Jean-Luc know then. No problem.” The pair watched as Q left engineering and made his way to the turbolift.

“Geordi,” Data turned towards his companion, “why did you lie to Q? Why not simply tell him that the senior staff was hesitant about this mission?”

“Remember what the counselor said. Q isn't in his right mind, we need to be careful about what we say,” Geordi gave a heavy sigh, “Come on, Data, we got a lot of work ahead of us.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Captain, I still think we shouldn't do this. We don't know what's going to happen when that rift opens. We don't know what Q will do,” Riker crossed his arms and watched the ion emissions travel into the wormhole. It had only taken two days to get everything ready, predominantly due to the younger Q finding their way into engineering and improving warp drive tenfold, enabling the Enterprise to reach speeds far beyond Starfleet regulations. 

“It's the only way to get him off my ship.”

“We could drop him off at the nearest starbase and let Starfleet deal with him.”

“They wouldn't deal with him. They would lock him up.”

“Well deserved,” Worf growled.

“Captain, may I speak frankly?” Deanna chirped.

“Of course, counselor.”

“Why are you taking on this responsibility? You have never been so inclined to help Q before.”

“Q has always been my responsibility.”

Deanna eyed him, a knowing gleam in her eye but a neutral expression.

Picard sighed, “The Prime Directive requires us not to interfere in any civilization, including the Q. For us to keep Q from his own home would have grave repercussions, he needs to be returned.”

“How can you know that for sure?” Deanna questioned curiously.

“Guinan,” Picard replied simply.

“Did she say something to you?” Riker asked.

“Just to remind me that trying to stop Q from getting home would be foolish since he still has his powers, and it would be easier for everyone if we just helped him do what he needs to do.”

“What exactly is it that he needs to do besides get back to this war?”

Picard's gaze moved from his first officer to the screen in front of him shimmering a bright green, a white flash was forming in the middle of the wormhole, no doubt the beginnings of an entrance into the chaos and bloodshed of war. _What damages does a war between omnipotent beings do?_ Picard wondered as the rift became larger and larger, _A war between gods..._

“End it,” Picard finally answered as the rift finally engulfed the wormhole and the green shimmer came to an end.

 

* * *

 

“What now?” LaForge asked, watching the rift through the comm panel in engineering. Q was next to him, nonchalantly leaning against the panel with his arms crossed and a sullen expression on his face.

“Engineering to Captain Picard,” he said finally, “Hello, Jean-Luc. I know all I asked for was help in creating the rift but unfortunately I have to ask for one more favor and before you refuse, you don't have a choice.” Q snapped his fingers but there was no bright flash.

“Captain, engineering is locked!” Geordi exclaimed, “We don't have control over here.”

“Neither do we,” Picard answered, “Q! Stop this!”

“I'm sorry, Jean-Luc.”

“Captain,” came Worf’s voice, “warp drive is currently being controlled in a living quarters on deck 9, where the Q are staying.”

“Q! We've done what you wanted! Stop thi-" Picard's words cut off as he lost his balance, a sharp jolt signifying the Enterprise rapidly beginning to move towards the rift.

“I'm sorry, Jean-Luc, but it's the only way.”

“Commander LaForge, try to get control of warp drive. I'm coming down there-"

“Captain, Q is gone,” the commander interrupted.

“Damn it!”

“He’s in the living quarters with the other Q,” Worf added, “Should I send a team down there, captain?”

“Yes, Mr. Worf,” Picard responded, “I'll be joining you.”

“Captain,” Riker called as the captain made his way to the turbo lift, “I don't want to say I told you so but…”

“Number one, now is not the time,” Picard sighed, adding quickly as the doors closed, “Besides, I blame Guinan.”

 

* * *

 

“Security codes aren't working, commander. There's not much else we can do unless we phase through the door.” 

Worf nodded at the lieutenant then turned to the captain, “Q could easily make sure we are not able to enter. I'm not sure there is anything we can do, captain.”

“Understood, Mr. Worf. I can deal with Q from here.”

“Capt-"

“It's alright, Mr. Worf, I just want to talk to him.”

Worf made no immediate intention to move but eventually relented under his captain's stare. He motioned to his team to follow him as he made his way to the turbolift.

“Q! Open this door!”

The door, to the captain's surprise, did open. Standing there was Q with his arms crossed and a hard expression. Behind him were the three Q sitting around a desk with a computer, unusually quiet and obviously nervous.

“Q, take us ba-"

“I will. I just need to take care of some business first. And to make sure that you know I will come back, I'm leaving these three here with you. They can't leave this ship without a shuttlecraft and neither can I, so if you don't mind I think I'll just pop over and borrow one,” Q’s voice was oddly deadpan for a being who was often sarcastic. Picard nodded, unsure of how to respond. Q snapped and the the trio immediately stood at attention, “Stay on the bridge. Keep watch from there. And you,” he looked directly into the captain's eyes, “do not under any circumstance let anyone leave this ship. Understood?”

Hearing Q give him orders knocked Picard to his senses, “You do not have the authority to-"

“Understood?!” Q’s stare was viciously intimidating and Picard was reminded of his days as a cadet when he was being scolded for doing something incredibly foolish. It was also when he realized that he was in incredibly unfamiliar territory and Q did have the authority to give him orders - at least for right now.

“Yes,” Picard said finally, “But if you could have used the shuttlecraft why did you need to bring my ship in here?”

“I needed a mass large enough to close the rift, a shuttlecraft would have left it open. Do you know how dangerous it is to have our war affect anything in the universe? Solar systems could be wiped out. Galaxies destroyed.”

“You'll still be able to get us out?”

“Yes.”

Picard nodded, “You can go ahead to the shuttlebay. I'll bring these three to the bridge.” 

Q nodded and the three Q made their way to the turbolift. As Picard moved to follow them, Q grabbed his wrist and turned the captain around. They stared into each other's eyes, Picard's breath caught as Q let go of his hand and moved closer towards him. Q cleared his throat awkwardly, “I _am_ sorry, Jean-Luc.”

Picard also cleared his throat and took a step back, “It's alright, Q. I trust you to get us out of here.”

Q scoffed, “No, you don't.”

“Yes, I do. You may have always gotten my ship into trouble but you _also_ always found a way to help get us out of it. I trust you, Q.”

“You trust me because Guinan does. Not because you want to.”

“I trust you because I have to but it doesn't mean it's any less sincere.”

“Is that so?”

“Q, these are unusual circumstances. There are times when I trust you and there are times when I don't, and I think I'm big enough to understand that now is a time to trust you. You're all we have here and we need you by our side to help us.”

“I've always admired you, Jean-Luc. In all the world, you have always been, in my opinion, a close to perfect human being.”

“I am nothing close to perfection by any means.”

_You are to me._

“We should get moving,” Q’s voice was unusually soft. Picard simply nodded in response and they parted ways. Picard entered the turbolift with the trio, a contemplative expression on his face when he heard a series of giggles.

“What could you possibly be giggling about?”

“Oh, nothing,” replied the female Q - _Gin,_ Picard recalled - “It's just...it's nothing.”

_If only you heard what we heard._

 

* * *

 

“So,” started Riker, “do any of you three know exactly how we're supposed to get out of here?”

“The rift,” they all replied in unison, not taking their eyes off the white screen.

 _It's as if they see something we don't,_ Picard thought. “But Q said that he needed the Enterprise to close the rift.”

“Yes, from the other side,” _the female Q again_ , Picard noted, _Out of the three, she is the most talkative. Perhaps Q left her in charge…_ “When you entered the rift it closed from that side and opened on this side. This side will remain open until the Enterprise gets back through and as long as everything here remains as it is.” 

“But isn't the Continuum incredibly volatile, couldn't everything change in a matter of moments?” the counselor asked from beside Picard.

“Well, we all better hope it doesn't because otherwi- uh oh,” her expression instantly changed into an even more nervous one.

“Otherwise what? What happened?” Picard questioned immediately.

“Q should be coming back soon. Just, uh- It'll be okay. We'll get you home.”

“Tell me what's happened,” Picard demanded.

“We, uh, we lost and, um, the rift it...just wait until Q gets back!”

“Captain!” came Worf’s voice, “The shuttlecraft is hailing us!”

“Open hailing frequencies.”

“Q!” the trio yelled, “We lost-"

“I know,” Q’s tone was that of a parent trying stay strong around their child during times of hardship, “It'll be okay. I'm on my way back. We've run into a bit of a problem.”

“Will somebody tell me what the hell has happened?!” Picard was losing his patience.

“Unfortunately, you won't be going home anytime soon. I'll explain more when I get back. Do not move that ship! Nobody knows you're here and we want to keep it that way. Got it?”

“Q, you will take my ship out of-"

“Jean-Luc.”

Picard paused a moment, his breathing harsh. He stared into Q’s stern eyes. “Yes,” he relented after a moment, “Mr. Worf, end communication.”

“Captain,” Riker started, “what are we-"

“We are going to wait for Q.”

“But-"

“What else can we do, number one?”

“The shuttlecraft has returned, captain,” said Worf.

“I'm going to meet him down there. Number one, you have the-" a bright flash cut off Picard's words.

“It's a little easier to use my powers in the Continuum,” Q turned to the captain, “Can I talk to you in your ready room?”

They made their way into the ready room and the moment the doors closed Q spoke, “The M are outnumbering us and we've just lost another battle. Because that rift was in Q territory, it's closed and you can't get out unless, um…” Q hesitated, his confident guise faltered a moment, he looked into Picard's eyes, “I'm sorry. Jean-Luc.”

“Unless what?” Picard urged.

“At the rate we're going, there's not enough of the Q Continuum left to make another rift…”

“Unless what, Q?”

“We’re losing the war,” Q admitted defeatedly, he slumped slightly and his eyes glistened. _He's going to cry_ , Picard noted. “We’re losing the war and the only way you can leave is if we win and we won't win, Jean-Luc, we won't.” He fell onto the couch and covered his face with his hands. He didn't sob, he didn't make a sound, he didn't even move. But he was crying. And Picard had no idea what to do. “It's all my fault, Jean-Luc. I started this and now so many people's blood is on my hands,” he sniffed, “We won’t win. I don't know what to do anymore, Jean-Luc.”

“We can’t get back home…” 

“I'm so sorry, Jean-Luc,” a tear made its way down Q’s cheek, his breathing began to become uneven and fast, his chest heaving. “This is all my fault!” he yelled, standing up abruptly and pacing, his breathing becoming harsher with every word, “Everyone I care about is going to die because of me! It's my fault, Jean-Luc! It's- AH!” Q punched the window and it left a vicious crack, he continued to punch it between words. “It's *crack* my *crack* fault!” It broke, the glass shattering to the floor. Q was letting his a very human reaction take over, his emotions and irrationality. It appeared to make him weaker, his powers didn't seem to work, even to the point that his hand bled. Of all the ways his interference with humans could affect Q, it was the emotional side of humans that Q was always inclined towards and the results of his intense interest was finally showing.

“Q!” Picard ran to Q’s side and grabbed his hands, “Q! Look at me!” Q’s breathing was still harsh but his eyes became less frantic and even softened a bit as he stared into the smaller man’s eyes, “The Q will win and we will help.” 

“But…” the entity looked deeply into the captain's eyes, “But the prime directive. You can't interfere, the repercussions-"

“Damn it, Q, does this seem like a time to worry about the prime directive! My duty is to this ship and I will do whatever I can to bring my people back home!”

“The ship...Jean-Luc, you can't put yourself at risk-"

“Q, please. We are going to help, whether you like it or not.”

“There are only enough Q left for one last battle. If we lose then-"

“We won’t.”

Q watched Picard intently then suddenly his sullen eyes became animated, “I have an idea.”

“Oh? What is it?”

Q smirked, “That's for me to know and for you to never find out. I have to get down to the other Q.”

“We’re coming with you.”

“No, it's too dangerous.”

“Q, if we die, couldn’t you revive us?”

“You trust me to do that?”

“I wouldn't put it past you one bit, Q,” Picard smiled softly and watched as Q leaned towards him, their faces just inches away, their lips almost touching…

“We should get going,” Q barked, quickly stepping away and straightening up.

“Yes,” Picard cleared his throat, “I'll get my crew ready and we'll meet you in the shuttlebay.”

Q nodded and left, Picard let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in.

 

* * *

 

The moment Picard stepped off the shuttlecraft he was greeted by a deep green forest, the sky was an orange-pink tone as it got closer to sundown. Q motioned to Picard to follow and he did, his crew and the three Q close behind. Picard walked by Q’s side, Q holding a protective arm out as they made their way deeper into the forest. 

“Stay close. Keep quiet,” Q whispered harshly, he snapped his fingers and the three Q circled around them as best they could, holding their rifles at a ready position. “The base has pushed further south, behind that fire,” Q pointed to a fire that engulfed at least an acre of trees, the fire was a bright green and it would have blended in with the trees if it wasn’t so large, “When we walk by the fire, you’ll have to cover your mouths and nose. Breathing in too much of the smoke is toxic for mortals, and it smells like a hundred rotting corpses.”

The crew looked at each other pensively. Their captain had not forced them into this situation, he gave them a choice and even urged them to say no. He didn't want to put anyone's life at risk besides his own. It was his ship, it was his responsibility. But they were his friends, they were going to stay by his side. They continued moving in a hudle, they slowly but surely approached the fire and the stench was enough to make them want to retch. None of them hesitated to cover their faces. Picard watched the smoke rise from the ground and, much like the flames, the smoke was not its usual color. Instead it was made up of faded hues of red, green, and blue, and Picard was reminded of the cloud that came from Q when he was dying in sickbay. And then he realized, with a feeling of disgust and terror, that the cause of the smell and the unusual colors was probably due to the fact that there were Q burning inside that fire. He was going to be sick. How could war drive people to do such horrible acts of violence? He turned to Beverly and the look in her eyes revealed that she came to same conclusion. It was a good while before they reached the end of the fire and even then it was another few minutes until the stench faded enough for them to uncover their faces. Picard finally looked at Q, his expression was solemn and Picard noticed a silver chain hanging from Q’s hand, he was holding a necklace. Rather, he was clutching the necklace so fiercely that his knuckles were turning white. As he wondered who it had belonged to, he turned to look at the younger Q. The small brown-eyed one, who Picard didn't recall the name of, looked ready to throw up and was occasionally gagging. The other two looked sick as well but held their composure much better.

“We’re here,” Q said. It looked like a large campsite. There were a few Q sitting around a fire, many of them were covered in blood and mud. The smell was completely gone now but the three Q still looked sick. The brown eyed one - _Bud!_ Picard remembered finally - immediately ran to edge of the base and threw up. A tall female Q approached them, a deep scowl on her face as she made her way to Q.

“You came back,” she spat, “How delightful. Oh, and it looks like you brought friends. Even better.”

“Q, I'm not in the mood to get into an argument,” Q sighed, he traced the necklace with his fingertips.

“Well, well, well,” she walked to the captain and towered over him, “If it isn't Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the starship Enterprise. You don't remember me but I can assure you we've met before.”

“Q…” Q warned.

“Oh! And Data!”

“I have no recollection of ever meeting you,” the android said simply.

“Ha! Of course not. None of you-"

“Q! Enough!” Q roared, his face full of fury, “Leave them alone!”

“Don’t talk to me like that!”

“I said enough! Leave us alone!”

“Fine!” she stomped away in a angry huff, making her way to a tent. She stopped halfway through and turned her neck just slightly, “Oh! By the way, it's not as if you care but our son…”

“What about him?”

She turned back towards the tent and kept walking, “He’s dead.”

Q watched her enter the tent and clutched the necklace before doing the same and stomping into his own tent. The crew quickly followed behind, the three Q settling in the tent next to Q’s. It was a fairly large, it had a full bed and a desk.

“Our son?” Picard began, “Is she the mother of your child? Is she your wife?”

“Ha! Hardly!” Q snorted, “She took the little tyke off my hands right after the first war. She didn't want me influencing him.”

“What was she talking about before? I have never met her in my life.”

“Yes you have. You just don't remember it.”

“When?”

“Before the first war, I'm not sure exactly when. Everything is out of place in your timeline, the Q have been jumping around.”

“What happened?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Did you tamper with my memory?”

“No! The universe did!”

“What?”

“Picard, now is not the time! I can't answer your questions!”

“Who's necklace is that? Your son's?”

Q fell onto the bed, “No…” He slowly raised his arm and opened his hand to reveal a silver charm attached to chain, it was the letter A.

“Amanda…” Dr. Crusher whispered.

“Dead,” was all Q could muster, it took every ounce of energy he had to not breakdown right then and there. God, that was all he wanted to do. He wanted to cry, to scream. “Get out,” he said through gritted teeth, it took a trained eye to notice that Q was shaking. His whole body was tense.

“Do you want to see the three Q?” Deanna spoke softly. Q mumbled something, none of them understood him but Deanna, “We’ll send them in on our way out. Come on,” she motioned for the Enterprise crew to follow. They left Q alone in the tent and then the counselor disappeared into the tent over. After a moment the three Q rushed into Q's tent, Picard briefly saw one of them immediately wrap their arms around him before the other two followed and then the cloth flowed shut. He turned around to face his crew and saw Dr. Crusher slumped on a log next to the fire, he sat next to her.

“I'm sorry, Beverly,” he wrapped a comforting arm around her waist. The rest of his crew sat around the fire, all the Q that had been here before were in their tents. It was nightfall and Picard assumed that in these odd circumstances they probably slept. None of them spoke for a long time.

“Q,” Data began, “is a very fascinating entity.”

“I've never seen him like this,” Geordi added, “No one has seen him like this...Do you think they fell asleep?”

“Who knows? I don't want to bother them,” Riker replied softly, “We should wait until morning.”

“Q,” Worf growled, “is an honorable man.”

“Thank you,” came Q’s hoarse voice.

 _God, that was sexy_ , was Picard's immediate thought before he coughed and refused to look at the entity.

“The youngins fell asleep,” he continued

“Are you going to bed?” Deanna asked softly.

“I'm not tired.”

“Oh?” she urged.

“We’re going for a final push tomorrow,” he kicked some dirt into the fire. His hands were shoved in his pockets and his expression was sullen. “We’ll see how it goes.” He was hiding something, and he knew that the counselor knew that he was hiding something. It was a big something but she didn't mention it to him or the others the whole night they sat around the fire. It was an odd time, sitting with Q as their equal for once. It was actually kind of nice and Q was actually not as much as an asshole as they had thought. Truth be told, he was pretty interesting to talk to when he was describing his past adventures, his relationship with the Continuum, his so called “teenage” years, and basically anything that wasn’t his interactions with Starfleet. He was always a rambunctious fellow, he said, always outspoken and a rebel. The Continuum never appreciated that. When he was young he enjoyed creating things. Nebulas were always his favorite things to make, he loved the colors. He went from planet to planet, from galaxy to galaxy. Until finally there was nothing left to see. He admitted he never went around playing god, no matter what he had said to them or what he had claimed in the past, he just liked to observe but he never wanted worship. If he wanted to be worshiped all it took was a snap of his fingers, he never wanted that. Sometimes it happened on accident because he forgot where he was and what he wasn't supposed to do. He tried to stay away when that happened but he helped when he could. He talked about Amanda and how close they had gotten after they had left the Enterprise. She was always kind to him despite his harsh manner. They had got into an argument at some point, Amanda said that if she was going to learn how to use her powers properly, he had to stop being so rude and stop expecting her to just know how to do things. She was first and foremost human, and he had to accept that. He had left after that, visited Earth for a bit and observed how families interact. He came back after a while with a fluffy unicorn and she laughed. Things went more smoothly from there. He was more patient, kinder. She learned a lot quicker. When he taught her everything he knew, he gave her a present. Something simple that he knew she would appreciate. A necklace. The necklace she died with and the necklace that now hung from the belt loop on his pants. He had looped it over itself so it didn't hang too far down.

“Oh, the sun is coming up,” he said softly, “I'm sorry, I kept talking for so long, you all didn't get to sleep.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Picard put a hand on Q’s shoulder, “You have a big day ahead of you.”

“Yes,” Q smiled ruefully, “I should be getting ready.” He moved out of Picard's reach and made his way to his tent. The captain's heart ached. Oh god. He had fallen in love with Q. How could he let this happen? And with Q of all people? He was just so honest and mellow these past few days that it had become so much easier to focus on his virtues rather than on his vices. And Picard had to admit to himself that Q’s typically suggestive manner had caused him to focus more on the entity's sensual side since the day they had met. His full lips, his curly hair, his dark brown eyes, his height. Oh my god. He was so much _taller_ than Picard and it was oddly sexy. The thought of pulling him closer so their lips could touch. _I've always admired you, Jean-Luc. In all the world, you have always been to me a close to perfect human being._ Had this been Q’s way of expressing his love? Did Q even love him back? _Oh my god, he could die today._ Picard forced the thought out of his mind. Everything was going to be okay.

 _Everything will be okay,_ he repeated in his head, _everything will be okay…_

 

* * *

 

“Are you fucking crazy?!” A young Q said, similar in age to the three Q.

“It's our last chance,” Q shrugged, “What are we gonna do? Sit on our asses and wait to die?”

“We die either way,” it was the female Q from before, the mother of Q’s son, “Might as well die fighting.”

“If we go through the ashes and over the mountain we might have a chance of winning,” Q suggested, “The smell by itself will catch them off guard, they can't handle it. And we'll have the high ground.”

What few Q were left eyed Q for a long moment, contemplating all the possible outcomes. Most of them sighed and shrugged, a silent agreement to fight by Q’s side. Others seemed resigned with their imminent death. Q mentally checked off the first part of his plan as complete.

They spent the morning setting up, the Enterprise crew helping out where they could. The Q didn't seem to be as suspicious of them as they were when they first came, probably because they had bigger problems on their minds. Like trying not to die. Around noon they had set up and were lining up to go through the ashes.

Q pushed his little ducklings into his tent. After a long moment and a lot of muffled yelling, he came out without them. He then approached Picard and led the Enterprise Q into the tent as well. The three Q sat on the bed with petulant frowns on their faces.

“You lot will stay right here. Do not move at all. If nightfall comes and I haven't returned, assume I'm dead. These three will do what they can to help you, the M might spare you and let you out but I have no idea what's gonna happen…” Q paused a moment in hesitation, “I'm sorry I got you into this mess. If, uh, if we don't...I'm sorry.” He gave them a sad smile before moving towards the three Q. “I love you,” he whispered and their petulant frowns turned to tears. He smiled softly at them, ever the father figure, and gave them each a kiss on their foreheads. And just as it was usually, he had left just as quickly as he had come. The atmosphere heavy.

 

* * *

 

“Q?” it was the female Q. 

“Yes?”

“I know I've always been harsh with you but I want you to know that I care about you,” she said softly, “I hope, if we both make it, that we can try to resolve our differences. Start over? Together?”

“Together,” Q smiled fondly before giving her a quick peck on the cheek, “Ready?”

“Ready as I'll ever be.”

Q smiled before turning to face the ashes with a determined glare, “Let's go.”

They made their way at a slow but steady pace through the ashes and to the top of the mountain. Ready to fight a battle no one believed they would win.

 

* * *

 

“We can’t let him go out on his own like that.” 

Picard watched the three Q talk amongst themselves.

“He’s not on his own.”

His mind had been so full of thoughts and worries he had completely forgotten their names. 

“What choice do we have? If he dies, we need to get them out of here, we made a promise to Q.”

 _A drink_ , he thought, _Whiskey? No, that's stupid..._

“But couldn't we just give it a quick check? Maybe we can help…”

_Something to do with a flower…_

“What if...never mind.”

_A game. An expression. Oh! Gin was one of them, the girl._

“No. Say it.”

_Rosebud...Bud! The brown eyed one. But the last one...Eureka?_

What if Q dies?”

_Bingo! Wait what._

“He’ll be fine,” Picard said sternly. Everyone, including his crew, turned to look at the captain.

“You can’t know that for-"

“He’ll be fine,” he repeated. The three Q eyed him with a mix of incredulity and hope.

“We need to help him,” Gin said softly.

“But didn't you just say that we needed to keep our promise to Q?” Bud questioned.

“I know but...” she hesitated, “...but if he dies, I want to be by his side.”

“You think he will die?” Bingo asked, his voice always so shy.

“I don't know but expecting the worst is better than expecting the best. We hope he'll live but hope and expectation aren't the same,” she looked a bit like Amanda.

“I don't think-"

“What if us being there could save his life?” Gin asked, “I know I said we had to keep our promise but what good does that do if we end up losing and the M end up capturing us all?”

“Why are you suddenly so adamant on going?” Bingo questioned.

“Because,” she sighed, “because I'm not gonna keep pretending as if the Q are gonna win. Let's face the facts here, the M will completely take over and we'll all die, including everyone aboard the Enterprise. It would be better for everyone if we went to battle and these guys took that shuttle back to their ship.”

“Wouldn't we have to go around the ashes to do that?” Riker asked, “Do you think the M could have pushed them that far back yet? They might see us.”

“If you go into the forest and keep quiet, you should be fine,” Bingo suggested.

“Well, whatever you do, us three are going. Right?” she turned expectantly to the two men. They looked at each other a moment, contemplating the odds, and then nodded. It took them no more than 10 minutes to get ready, weapons loaded and uniforms fastened.

“We’re sorry, too, by the way,” Gin said as they made their way out of the camp, Picard and his crew watching them leave, “Q really likes you all and it sucks that it has to end this way. I hope everything turns out well.”

“Well,” Picard began, “as you said, hope and expectation are not the same. We hope that all goes well for you as well.”

“But expectation says otherwise,” she shrugged, “See you on the other side.” They waved their goodbyes as they headed for the ashes.

“It appears to me that their focus seems to be solely on being by Q’s side when he dies. Have they not taken into account,” Data questioned flatly, “that they themselves might die before he does?”

 

* * *

 

His breathing was harsh and he could hear blood roaring in his ears as his heart pounded. Was this how he was going to die? As a what? A failure? If he was stronger he could go back in time and change everything. Stop the civil war from happening, tell his old self to be more diplomatic. Not have a kid. Prevent the deaths of hundred of Q, both young and old. Never meet Jean-Luc Picard, never interact with humans, never become the emotional wreck that he is now. _But_ , he thought, _I'm using it to my advantage now. It may only be us four left but that's all we'll need. Just one small, happy family. That's enough. We'll be okay. Right?_

Suddenly a strong blow to the back of his head caught him off guard. He quickly found his footing, grabbing a small dagger from the ground. The M noticed the dagger and dropped their rifle, putting their hands up in a fighting position and smirking. _Oh, so it's fight you want, is it?_ Q thought. He returned the smirk and held the dagger at the ready.

“Come on then,” Q purred, “I'll let you have the first shot.”

The M took the advantage instantly, throwing himself at Q. Q easily dodged his punch and grabbed a hold of the M’s arm, pulling him close. He held the dagger in his other hand, pressing it against his opponent's neck.

“You know what they say?” Q’s voice was viciously silky, an odd combination but terrifying nonetheless, “Never bring a gun to a knife fight.”

“That’s not- AH!” In one swift movement, Q had taken the knife away from the M’s neck, caught the M’s hand, aimed his own elbow at a point in between the bend and wrist of the M’s arm, then brought down his own elbow down with enough force to completely snap the M’s arm, breaking it instantly. As the M screamed in pain, clutching the broken arm, Q rolled onto the ground, grabbed the rifle the M had been holding, and rolled back onto his knees. The M was now on his knees as well, writhing in pain. Q aimed right between the eyes and gave a wicked smirk as he easily pulled the trigger.

“Sweet dreams, mother fucker,” Q said as he got onto his feet.

“Q!” he heard from a distance. Someone was calling him, he knew it was his person they were referring to. He looked around but the noise did not repeat itself. “Q!” he heard again after a moment, it was a familiar baritone voice.

“Picard?!” Q called.

“Q! In the trees!”

Q turned towards the trees, Picard and Worf were standing behind a thick bush. He quickly ran towards them, grabbing their wrists and pulling them further into the forest.

“What are you- look out!” Q pushed Worf and Picard behind him and made a motion across his body. What appeared to be a large ball of fire headed straight for them and landed on some sort of force field that Q created. The force of the hit pushed him to the ground.

“You need to leave!” he grunted.

“Q, the- another!” Q made another motion with his other arm and another force field was created on top of them.

“Get out of here!” he shouted, “They found you!”

“The three Q, they- Q!” Q let out a ferocious yell and pushed the two flaming balls towards a third one that was coming down. They all collided with a loud bang and broke apart into pieces.

“Run!” Q yelled as he pushed them back to the campsite. He followed close behind Picard and Worf, occasionally checking behind his shoulder for anymore threats. When they had finally reached the camp, Q collapsed to the ground. His breathing was harsh, and even they could hear his heart pounding.

“I'm fine,” he said after a minute, “I'm just really fucking tired.”

“Q, we-"

“What the hell you were thinking?!” Q yelled from the ground, “Oh no, that's right. You weren't fucking thinking, were you?! What in god's name would possess you to think that you should come looking for me?! You could have died! The great Jean-Luc Picard and his little rabid dog would have been dead! Yeah, I'm talking about you, Woof, don't give me that fucking look. What important thing did you have tell me so bad that you needed to-"

“The three Q left for battle!” Picard finally said. Q froze then suddenly started chuckling maniacally.

“No, they didn't,” he said, his smiling fading and his breathing becoming faster, “No! No, they did not fucking-" He stopped himself and got up quickly, hitting the ground a few times as he did so. “No! No no no! They did not! You're fucking with me, right? This is a joke, right? Because they would never think to disobey direct orders! Because- please tell me you're joking. I won't be mad, Jean-Luc, just tell me the truth.”

The crew watched as Q had his breakdown. He stared at the captain, looking deep into his eyes. “I'm sorry, Q.” At these words, Q had finally lost it. He started screaming but he did not cry, no one knew what he was feeling but Deanna. He grabbed whatever he could and started throwing things. Apparently Picard's theory that Q lost his powers in emotional states was wrong because Q was throwing with enough force to knock down several large trees at once. He kicked through all the logs and at some point even kicked down yet another tree. The tents had blown away and the dust was blowing furiously around them. Everything happened in a flash, within a blink of an eye something else was destroyed.

And then suddenly he stopped. He froze for a moment then fell to he knees clutching his heart.

“No…” Q whispered before running back towards the ashes, tears rolling down his face. Picard and his crew tried to keep up as best they could. He ran past the hundreds of lifeless bodies, through the clouds that slowly began to cover the air. “No!” He yelled, running at an intense speed, “It wasn't supposed to be you! You weren't supposed to die!” Suddenly, as fast as Q had ran, things began to happen in slow motion. He had to come to such a sudden halt that he slipped and fell to the ground with a hard thud, landing on his knee with one leg out. Q was visibly shaking as he reached out to touch the body in front of him. It was the female Q but it wasn't just her. By her side were the two male Qs. They all had one disgustingly perfect hole in their head. He traced his fingers along their faces, tears filling his eyes. Q began to sob as he tried to hold the three bodies as close to him as possible all at once. Picard had to turn away to keep his own composure and he noticed that there were no Q left. He heard the fading song of the M who were happily making their way back to their own camp. He felt someone ran past him, and then another, and finally turned back to Q. He was yelling again and his tears were like a waterfall. He was pounding his fists against the three Q’s chest, begging for them to wake up. Data, Worf, and Riker had ran towards him and were trying to pull him off as the colorful clouds began to flow out of the Q’s bodies. Q tried to pull free and it was again as if he had lost his powers despite it taking three men to hold him still. After a few dreadful moments, the three Q had disappeared completely, the only thing left of them was the cloud that floated over the battlefield, making its way further and further away. Q finally gave up on pulling free and slumped in Worf’s arms, who struggled to keep him up. Finally Worf slowly led Q to the ground, where he sat for a long while staring at the spot where the three bodies laid.

Suddenly, his expression became hard and there was an intense fury in his eyes. Like a scene out of an action movie, Q had stood up with his eyes focused in the direction of the M’s campsite and he began walking with a greater dramatic flair than the crew had ever witnessed from him before. Every step left an imprint of flames and soon both his hands were engulfed in a bright red fire. It didn't appear to hurt him at all and the Enterprise crew took wary steps as they followed behind him, more than a little terrified of Q in his current state. He stopped when the campsite could just barely be seen, his fists tightened before he let out a guttural cry and ran full speed towards the campsite.

“Q! No!” Picard ran after him.

“Captain!” called Riker before running after him as well. Soon the whole crew had followed suit. Picard was only a few feet away from Q when a large flame pushed him to the ground. He landed on his elbow and covered his eyes. He felt the heat die down just as a hand grabbed him from under his arm and helped him to his feet. It was Riker, the crew with him. They all watched the flames grow bigger and bigger until they could not see anything at all of the campsite or Q. They did not feel any heat despite being only a few feet away from the fire. Picard walked closer and closer to the flame, Riker called him but didn't make any move to pull him back. He slowly raised his hand and put it in the flames, it didn't burn at all, it was actually a bit cold. The crew watched him except for Deanna who walked to Picard's side. She did the same as he did, the fire didn't burn her either.

“Stay here,” Picard said and walked into the flames, Deanna holding onto his arm and joining him. Picard couldn't see anything in front of him but somehow was able to sense everything in his path. He couldn't tell the difference between a body and a log though he didn't want to think about it too much. Deanna held onto him tight but her expression was still soft, no fear at all.

“I can sense him,” she said, “I can feel his presence near here. We should be careful, captain. He is in an unpredictable emotional state.”

“Q!” Picard called when they heard harsh grunts. As they moved further into the fire, it became louder. When the pair finally reached Q, it was to witness him straddling what they assumed to be an M. He was landing a stream of blows to the M’s face, Q’s still fiery hands had severely burned their head and neck. It was horrific sight to see and Deanna immediately turned away with her eyes shut tight, but Picard could not help but stare disgustedly at the face of the M.

“Q!” Picard forced out eventually, “Q! Stop this!” He ran to the entity and tried to pull him off, but the moment the captain laid his hands on the taller man, he felt an intense burn and jumped away. He looked at his hands briefly, they were a crimson red but the skin seemed intact. He took a deep breath and tried again, not caring if he got burned. “Q!” he grunted, “Enough!” Finally Q brought up his arm once last, bringing it down for a final blow. The M lay there unmoving as Q pushed himself up abruptly, spitting some blood onto the floor and breathing harshly. Picard backed away slowly to stand next to Deanna and she desperately grabbed his arm. Q stood there breathing heavily.

“Q…” The pair said in unison. Q’s back immediately tensed up as he finally noticed the presence of Picard and Troi. He crooned his neck and watched them in his peripheral vision. His eyes, they both noted, were a deep red-orange color, the same as the fire around them, though it was not a reflection.

“Are, uh,” Picard briefly looked down at his hands, “are you okay?” Q finally turned all the way around, his eyes on the red marks all over Picard's hands and wrists. His face softened and his eyes became their usual color, the flames around his fists finally put out.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No!” Picard lied, “It doesn't hurt at all, just stings a bit. I'm okay.”

“But-"

“Q, what is all this?” Picard interrupted, not wanting to worry the entity. He vaguely gestured to the fire and the body on the ground.

“I...I don’t…” was all Q could say, he seemed to be at a loss for words.The counselor gently approached him and intertwined their arms, she didn't dare look at the dead M around them.

“Time to go, I think,” she said softly, smiling at him with tears in her eyes. Q’s expression became grave as he nodded furiously. He easily made his way out of the fire, pulling Troi with him as Picard followed close behind. When they finally emerged out of the fire, they found the crew sitting idly on a log, their expressions unusually blank as they turned their heads to stare at the trio. Q was blushing furiously of embarrassment and muttered an apology as he pushed pass everyone and continued walking. He did not once dare look back at them the, one hand fidgeting with Amanda’s necklace and the other in his mouth as he anxiously bit his nails.

“You can return to the Enterprise, I'm going to, uh, clean up,” Q said as they reached the shuttlecraft in the middle of the forest.

“Q, we can’t just leave you alone,” Deanna said softly, wrapping her arms around his bicep, “Not after all that.”

“I would really prefer it you all went back to the Enterprise.”

“I agree with the counselor,” Picard said.

“As do I,” growled Worf, “A true warrior does not leave their friend alone in times of suffering.”

“Friend?” Q blinked.

Riker sighed but gave the entity a kind smile, “Friend.”

Q hesitated, “No!” At the confused looks from the crew, he quickly continued, “I really just want to be alone.”

“Why?” Geordi asked.

“Please,” Q’s tone was on the verge of begging.

“Only if you tell us why,” PIcard insisted, keenly watching Q’s expression. Q hesitated then his nose scrunched up in an almost disgusted wince before he sighed.

“You can stay if you like but I would just like to,” another sigh, “I just need some alone time.”

The crew exchanged looks, predominantly turning to Deanna for any insight into the entity’s feelings but she returned their gazes with a slight shake of her head and a faint shrug. Q, deeply despising the long silence, cleared his throat to catch their attention and began to walk to the campsite.

The moment they arrived, Q immediately isolated himself in his tent. The crew divided themselves up into pairs: Deanna and Beverly, Riker and Worf, Data and Geordi, and Picard on his own, though not without at least one mention of him perhaps joining Q. They had all said their awkward, though still warm, good nights and went off the bed, all except Picard who had sat on a stump near the fire pit, which was little more than a few sparks. He sat there contemplating for a long while, his internal clock telling him it had to be well past midnight. He just couldn’t get Q out of his mind. _He was alive,_ he thought to himself, _Q was alive...But at what cost? He was the only living member of his species, wiped out by a war. Not to mention what had just happened to the M, Q was now possibly the only omnipotent being in existence right now._ “I can’t imagine the loneliness,” Picard whispered. _It wasn’t supposed to be you!_ Q yelled in his mind, _What had Q meant by that? Seems like he had planned for the trio to explicitly not die. And yet…?_ “Didn’t quite go as planned,” Picard sighed, “But what kind of plan was that? I don’t understand what he was trying to achieve, I don’t get-” Picard immediately shut his mouth when he heard a rustling. He saw Q’s silhouette come out of the tent, holding a very dull lamp and heading towards the forest. Picard, fortunately hidden by the darkness of the night, eyed Q until the light almost completely disappeared from sight, allowing a decent amount of distance between them before he began to follow the entity, the light being his only guide as to the Q’s location. _He’s going towards the M campsite,_ Picard thought curiously. He hesitated but decided that in Q’s emotional turmoil it would be prudent that someone be there to help calm him down in case he were to have another breakdown. They walked in a distanced rhythm for a long while until Q suddenly stopped in front of a battered shack and blew out the lamp. Picard was about to start panicking when the lights inside the shack turned on, two silhouettes radiated from the window, the thin curtain not allowing any detail besides their outline to be shown. Picard recognized one as Q but could only make out that the second figure was a female. They circled each other menacingly and Picard took their distracted states as an opportunity to sneak closer to the shack, he hid behind a large bush that was just within earshot. They were murmuring.

“I did not!” Q said suddenly, loudly.

“Don’t yell at me!’ replied the women just as loudly. Her voice, Picard noted, has the same sensual undertone as Q’s did.

“Answer my question!” Q continued yelling, “Truthfully! Why did you start this?!”

“How dare you think that I-”

“Just answer the fucking question!”

“Because I was not about to be overpowered by _you_!”

“What the hell does-”

“You know exactly what that means, Q! It was between me and you, and I will _never_ let myself be outsmarted by _you_ ever again!”

“Melony, you’re a fucking psychopath!”

 _Melony?_ That jogged a faint memory in the back of Picard’s mind, _Why do I recognize that name?_ Picard was torn from his thoughts when he realized that it had gone eerily quiet. He moved a bit closer to the shack, safely protected by the darkness. _Though not for long,_ Picard noted as the sun began to peak over the horizon. They were murmuring again as Picard strained to hear them until suddenly-

“You killed them!” Q shrieked like a madman, “You killed them!” Picard watched in horror as Q pulled out a revolver and towered over Melony, “This is all your fault! You ruined everything!” He heard a loud thud as Melony tripped over something and fell backwards. Q stared down at her and Picard could feel the crazed look in his eyes as he pointed the gun at her.

“You won’t do it!” Picard heard her say, though she was now out of sight, “You can't bare to see anymore people die, Q. You won't kill me.”

Q hesitated a moment, lowering his gun just slightly, “You're right, I think if I see one more person die, I might lose my mind.”  There was a gunshot and a gasp. “Good thing I won't be here when you die.” Picard watched as Q tucked the gun away and walked out of the shack without a second look at the dying body on the floor. Q’s expression was now noticeable under the dawn light. He sighed, taking in the cool air against his sweating skin. His head tilted back, eyes closed, his lips parted just slightly. Picard couldn’t help his reaction to Q’s disheveled appearance. _What hell are you thinking right now?!_

“Hello, Jean-Luc,” came Q’s sultry voice, one he hadn’t heard since the spatial anomaly, “Enjoyed the show?”

“Q,” Picard acknowledged as nonchalantly as possible, as if he had not been caught following a very dangerous, unstable entity - and also having some very lewd thoughts about said entity.

“Look how beautiful the sky is,” Q did not look at the captain, his head still tilted upwards.

Picard looked towards the sky and held back a gasp, “The rift.”

“Well then,” Q sighed, finally looking at Picard, who noticed the fresh blood spatter on the entity’s white pants, “I’ll visit soon. I have some cleaning up to do.”

“That’s what you said last time,” Picard, much to his disappointment, had to return to the reserved, suspicious captain rather than the open, loving friend.

“You should have left when you had the chance,” Q snorted, “Piss off, Picard.”

“Q-”

“Get lost!”

Picard gave Q an icy glare but obliged. He paused a moment when he reached the beginning of the forest, “You are welcome aboard the Enterprise anytime, Q, given that you can control your temper much better than you have shown me now. I had sympathy before but this whole matter has turned into a brutal massacre. At first it was understandable but I’ve never seen a being who claims so much to hate human emotions, express them so profusely and outlandishly as you have. There is line between mourning and mania, between feeling and overreacting. You were a different man when this whole mess started, contemplative and warm. Now you are irrational and unstable and you are not the man I-” he sighed, gazing directly into Q’s eyes, “You are not the man I fell in love with.”

Q’s hard expression faltered, “You what?”

“God only knows how it happened but I have fallen in love with you, Q.”

“Jean-Luc, I-”

“Like I said, you are welcome anytime,” was all Picard said before disappearing into the forest.

 

* * *

 

The first few days after the war were predominantly filled with Picard reporting the whole situation to Starfleet, and them asking a million and one questions in return. Why did he do this? How did he do that? When did he say this? Who is that? A million and one questions… 

The next week - after he had tactfully answered all of Starfleet’s questions, carefully avoiding his feelings for the entity - was filled with psychological evaluations. Was he fit to remain as captain? Did Q influence him in any way? Was he suffering from any psychological trauma? Another million and one questions…

The two week after that was shore leave for him and all his crew. They were to report to Earth and just relax. Relax, visit family, visit friends, enjoy non-replicated food, do absolutely anything to their heart's’ content. And yet, not one second did he relax. Was Q coming back? Was Q okay? Did _he_ have psychological trauma? Did Q love him back? A million and one questions…

A million and one questions…

And zero Q.

It wasn’t until almost a month later, an agonizing, pensive month later, that Q finally showed up. Picard had just finished a long diplomatic mission and was in need of some much needed sleep when he entered his quarters to find Q napping on his couch.

“Q?” Picard gaped. He was wearing gray sweats, a faded green t-shirt, and, in Picard’s opinion, overly fluffy striped socks. He rustled a bit before stretching out his arms and legs, his t-shirt pulling up just slightly to reveal his stomach with a peppered happy trail and his pants pulling down just slightly to reveal just a hint of the waistband of his boxers.

“Q,” Picard pressed, hiding his furious blush. The entity’s eyes fluttered open. “What are you doing here?” Picard continued.

“Napping,” Q said around a yawn, sitting up sluggishly, “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Oh?” was all Picard said. He walked to the replicator, ordering an earl gray tea and a black coffee, before sitting down on the couch next to Q. “To wake you up,” Picard murmured kindly, giving Q the cup of coffee.

“Thank you,” Q gave the smaller man a soft smile before taking a sip of the coffee. They did not once look each other in the eyes.

“Q-”

“No,” Q hastily put down the coffee, spilling it a bit, “I’m sorry, Jean-Luc. You were right, I was an emotional wreck and everybody paid for my mess. Including you. And I am _so_ sorry. And…” he sighed, finally daring to look into the captain’s eyes, “And I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore. I understand if...if you don’t love me anymore.”

Picard put down his own drink and contemplated a moment, “Why did you do it?”

“Either she had to die or I did.”

“I don’t under-”

“How much did you hear?”

“Not enough to know why you did it.”

“She said,” he hesitated, “she said that I was becoming too powerful because of,” he gave an amused smirk, “because I was spending too much time around humans. My inability to control my powers during emotional outbursts meant that my powers were expanding beyond containment and that eventually they would become so far beyond the Q, that I would surpass them in strength. Which meant that I would also surpass the M. Which I did, as you witnessed. Unfortunately for me, she was also on the same track but she was not having it. It was going to be me or her. No ifs, ands, or buts. If I didn’t kill her, she would have killed me. And…”

“And?” Picard urged.

“And I would have let her. What did I have to live for anymore when all I’ve ever known was gone?”

“Then why did you kill her?”

“Because I was lying to myself. There was something left for me.”

“Oh?”

“You,” Q inched closer to Picard, “I love you too, Jean-Luc.”

Picard stood abruptly at those words, “But what did you mean? Why weren’t the three Q supposed to die? What was your plan?”

Q sighed and stood up as well, “Jean-Luc, they were all going to die either way.”

“What was your plan, Q?”

“They could either die without hope or die knowing they may have stood a chance, even if it was minuscule. So I rallied them, I encouraged them, I gave them hope. By then, I had noticed that my emotional outbursts were followed by a strong release of power so I decided to use it to my advantage. I would send everyone to battle, everyone except the three Q, and they would die. And I would be able to muster up enough power to at least force a ceasefire, at most destroy their camps. It was never meant to go that far, I was never meant to kill all of them. But they...and I...I couldn’t stop myself…”

“You sent them to die?”

“They would have died either way. If Melony killed me, the whole of the Q Continuum would have been next.”

“Q-”

“I don’t want to be lectured or scolded or given some well thought out speech you give to an incompetent cadet. I have spent the last two of your human months - almost 2 centuries of my time - wallowing in self-pity, wanting to start all over, wanting to hurt myself, wanting to do whatever I could to get these thoughts out of my mind. The only other people I have loved are dead, my son is dead, Amanda is dead. And it’s all my fault, all of it. I do not regret _anything_ more than that war, than my _actions_ during that war. So please, I’m _begging_ you. Do _not_ tell me what I _should_ have done.”

“Q…” Picard breathed, he slowly walked toward the taller man and reached his hand out to brush his fingers along his cheek. He felt stubble underneath his fingertips and just now noticed the 5 o’clock shadow forming on the entity’s face.

“Jean-Luc?” Q smirked though his voice was just above a whisper. Picard wrapped his hands around the taller man’s neck.

“I think you’ve learned your lesson,” Picard pulled the entity closer to him, their foreheads touching.

“Oh, trust me, I have,” Q muttered against Picard’s lips before melting into an intense kiss. His arms immediately wrapped around the captain’s waist. Picard ran his hand through Q’s hair, tugging it slightly to steady himself. The arms around the smaller man’s waist snaked under his shirt, a soft pair of lips finding his neck and jaw. Picard shuddered at the touch but found the mind to grasp at Q’s hair to pull him up from his neck so their lips could touch again. The movement worked but they both lost their balance and fell onto the couch, Q landing on top of Picard.

“I love you,” Picard gasped as Q’s lips found his neck again.

“I love you too,” Q breathed, “Bed?”

“Bed,” Picard nodded. There was a flash of light and they were both in Picard’s bed, grinding against each other in the midst of another passionate kiss. It was Picard’s turn to leave a trail of tantalizing kisses along Q’s neck so he swiftly wrapped his arms around the taller man and flipped their position so he could be on top. Q gave a throaty chuckle which quickly turned into a gasp as Picard sucked gently on Q’s neck. The captain could feel the bulge in the entity’s pants and promptly went to undo the drawstring, pushing his pants down slightly and reaching inside.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Q hissed. It was so perfect. This moment, being together.

And then suddenly there was a loud bang, and then another, and then another. The two quickly pulled apart in shock and immediately went into survival mode.

“What the hell?” Picard exclaimed.

“Look!” Q smiled, pointing to the window. Picard turned to see an array of fireworks outside his window. He smiled to himself as they faded away into the darkness of the space outside.

“I’m sorry, I must have done that on accident,” Q fiddled with his hands bashfully.

“Q,” Picard’s voice was serious though his expression remained amused, “How long is it going to take for you to get your powers under control?”

“Oh, maybe a few thousand years,” Q smirked.

“A few thousand?”

“Not to fret, I have a friend. Petunia’s her name, and I’m sure she will be glad to help me along my journey.”

“Petunia?”

“I’m sure you’ll met her eventually. But right now,” Q smirked, pushing Picard onto the bed, “Where were we?” They smiled into each other’s mouths and got lost in another fiery kiss.

A million and one more questions were going to be asked but with Q by his side, Picard felt as if he had a million and two answers ready.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it!


End file.
